Visitors to our parish office at St. Elizabeth might notice a little motto tacked to secretary Stacey Knepper’s bulletin board, just behind her desk. It reads, “You will never look into the eyes of someone who God doesn’t love. Always be kind.”
If you distilled all of the ways we tend to distinguish ourselves in this crazy, chaotic world into one simple category, I hope it would be “kindness.” No matter your religious beliefs or political opinions, being kind shouldn’t be a discretionary option but a compulsory action for us all.
Why kindness? In the words of Pope Francis, it “opens hearts to acceptance and helps us become more humble.” I think it also opens doors to conversations that help us better understand each other, and makes us more willing to listen to what others have to say.
I mention this because we seem to be in a perpetual state of agitation, polarized by our national politics, worried about our future and our world. Every day brings more strife, whether it’s across the ocean or down the street. There is a lot going on, for sure. It’s hard to find middle ground anymore. Perhaps part of that is our own propensity to stay in our own echo chambers, with people who think as we do. In these places, kindness comes easily.
Kindness really can lead us to a more beautiful world. If we truly are kind to each other, we become more tolerant, respectful, empathetic, forgiving, perhaps even more loving. I believe kindness can transform our society.
Being kind, though, isn’t always the easy way. I get it. Sometimes, I find it hard to be kind. I get caught up in my own little bubble of irritation, lashing out at people I care about, being rude, impatient, and unkind. Being kind often feels like too much work. This can be true especially if we’re called to be kind to someone outside of our comfort zone, you know, the places where everyone agrees with us.
In these situations, taking baby steps helps lead the way.
Stacey, who I mentioned earlier in this column, commented that while on a recent visit to the grocery store, her husband thanked the person bagging the groceries for coming to work. It was a small thing, but, according to Stacey, it was appreciated. That reminded me of something I witnessed after the pandemic, when getting workers was a problem for local restaurants and other service-oriented businesses. There was a bit of a grass-roots effort to thank those who were showing up to work and making sure customers got their iced coffees and lattes at the drive-through window and the carryout counters.
Practicing patience, being an attentive listener, especially to someone you might not agree with; helping someone who is struggling, visiting a neighbor who is stuck at home or an elderly relative in a long-term care facility, calling an old friend or acquaintance to check on how they’re doing, donating to a charitable cause, all of these are ways to exercise our “kindness skills.”
Kindness has a healing power, for both the giver and the receiver. As St. Francis said, it is in giving that we receive. When we seek to be kind, finding common ground and accord will follow.
If you need some help getting on a kinder path, the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation can help. Founded in 1995 by a private organization, the foundation is located in Denver. Its mission is to make kindness the norm by providing resources for schools, workplaces, homes, and communities. Visit randomactsofkindness.org for some interesting and useful tips, videos and ideas.
Someday, all that we have worked so hard to acquire will be gone. We will be gone, too. What will survive us are those relationships we have built with each other in our families, our communities, and our world. Kindness will be remembered.
Like the motto says, “Always be kind.”
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